Teacher: you —
Me: ARE A BRICK tiED TO ME THA’tS DRAggiNG ME DoWn [JUMPS ONTO DESK] STRIke A maTCH AND I’LL bUrn YOU To THE gROUnd [JUMPS OFF AND FLIPS THE DESK] WE ARE THE JACk-o-lanTERNs in JULy SETTIng FIRE TO thE SKy [PUNCHES TEACHER] he-hE’RE COMEs this RISIng TIde [BREAKS DOWN DOOR SCREAMING IN THE HALLWAY] So ComE OnN [GRABS MARKERS AND SMEARS ON MY FACE] PUt on yOUR WAr paINt
my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”
i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone
Do people not understand how young the US is, and we already have all these problems?
238 years isn’t that long, man. That’s three 80 year old women in a row. That’s it. That’s how old the country is.